Clara’s real brother is almost here, but she has already had a band of imaginary brethren to keep her company for months now. Sometime around the time Sherry got pregnant, Clara entered an “imaginary friend” stage. Except all of these friends were boys and she called them her brothers, which may be the reason she was gunning for the baby to be a boy.
Obviously it requires a certain amount of imagination to have a fictional companion, but in my experience kids are pretty unoriginal when it comes to naming them. I had one growing up named Kevin because my real best friend was named Kevin. My little sister cycled through several, all named Laura (“Oh no, this is a new Laura. The other Laura moved away”). And Sherry’s was Daphne after a character in a book she liked. Her little brother boats the most creative name I’ve ever heard: Jo-Jo Ketchup, although I’m told his surname was inspired by a nearby condiment bottle.
In keeping with tradition, Clara has named all of her imaginary
friends brothers after characters from movies. So without further ado, I present to you Clara’s brothers:
Her first (and favorite) brother is “Broze.” He was dubbed that after she misheard the name of the older brother (who is really named Buzz) in Home Alone. Why she became so enamored with such a gruff character, we’ll never know. But it is somewhat poetic that her favorite fake brother’s name sounds like the plural of “bro.”
Imaginary brother #2 is named Kevin. Not to honor my former imaginary (or even my real) friend Kevin, but instead after Kevin, the main character in Home Alone.
#3 is Barney, named after the purple dinosaur. Apparently other species as siblings is a completely reasonable concept when it comes to imaginary friends.
#4 is Walter, named after the main (fuzzy) character in The Muppets movie. I guess if Jason Segal can be his human brother in the movie, why can’t Clara be his pretend human sister?
Last but not least – and this one is my favorite – is Newspaper Boys… named for the entire cast of Newsies (which we’ve already established is a Clara fav). I’m still not sure if in Clara’s head she pictures a single person, or if she imagines an entire line-up of singing and dancing boys whenever she lists her brothers and says “Newspaper Boys” at the end of the list. I kind of hope it’s the latter because it’s much more entertaining for me to picture that way.
Broze is definitely the favorite of the crew though. If you ask her who her brothers are she runs through the list of “Broze, Kevin, Barney, Walter, and The Newspaper Boys” at lightning speed – but only Broze is really actively talked to (she makes an average of four fake phone calls to him each day). Maybe he’s off in Paris with the rest of the imaginary family while poor Clara’s been left behind to fend off the Wet Bandits?
PS: Never has Clara been so glued to my lap while writing a post. She kept asking me why I was taking pictures of HER brothers.